Report of the Hysterical Wargamer
#Vol 1, No. 1 (22 July 2006) – “Comrade Woodcovski”
Dear Comrades,
With Gamemaster Josh officiating this Thursday, the Gettysburg Gamers fought a generic WWII skirmish twice– the fight for the village of Viagra, pitting yours truly and Comrade Molyneauov commanding two Russian squads armed with rifles and machine pistols and a secret weapon against “Johann von Coxenhimer, Baron of Frederick,” and Captain “Petre Yankinkneckt’s” two squads armed with rifles, machine rifles and two heavy machine guns.
The battle ground: Open fields west of the village with spots of terrain cover and several small woods, with four buildings in the village of Viagra. The town was laid out in a squared-off U-shaped pattern – a substantial building to the northwest side of the village with a warp-around porch; the remains of a walled compound to the northeast, a small barn to the southeast, and a bombed-out house to the southwest. Inside the U-shaped village were two groves of trees, one slightly larger than the other.
Victory conditions: In both games, the victor was required to hold and control three of four buildings of this fictitious village on the Russian Front.
In the first scenario, the Germans held one (northwest) building of the four structures, while the Russian held the remainder. Despite some cover provided by a grove of trees between two of the buildings, the Russians in the one (southwest) house did not learn from their mistakes and had as many as three men were killed by just standing behind an open window, shot down by German machine gunners in the (northwest) house opposite. The Baron of Frederick’s troops systematically moved towards the southwest house from the west. Utilizing cover and concealment, without losing a single man, the Baron’s troops effectively cleared the one house. Meanwhile Comrade Molyneauov’s men fought desperately to clear the one house of Germans, but they were excellent marksmen (great die rolls), while the Russian shots seemed to fly everywhere instead of into the Kraut troopers. Despite the Russian secret weapon – Helga the sharpshooter who must have drank too much vodka, for most of her shots missed their marks -- the Germans were victorious. Helga was one of the last Russians to fall.
In the second scenario, the Russians initially held all four buildings as the Germans approached from the west. In this game, the Russians learn the hard lessons of the first game. They were better shots (Woodcovski’s “unique die rolling mojo paid off), and Helga’s hangover had worn off, for her aim was much better. Although Comrade Molyneauov’s squad fought gallantly to hold on the house, taking out as many as three Germans, the remainder of Yankienknect’s men eliminated the Russian menace and took the northwest building. However, Comrade Woodcovski’s men, with Helga as back up, waited patiently, letting the Baron’s troops move to within 40 mm range, before throwing open a window and blasting the Germans. Though some of these first shots missed their marks, as the German’s moved closer, the Russians leaped from the building and in two risky charges, were able to effectively eliminate’ all of the Baron’s troops. As a cou-de-gras, Helga took out the Baron. To end the second scenario, Three of Woodcovski’s men raced across the village green and effective eliminated a potential flanking attempt by the remaining Germans. The game was called when there were five Russians left opposing one German, who was left cowering in the northwest house.
Stay tuned for future reports from the Hysterical Wargamer.